28 weeks
Lately, people have been asking me how far apart Hazel and the new baby will be. My response, three years. Sometimes I get bulging eyes, other times I get: “you’ll love it”, and then many have also said: “so she will be in school before they will really be able to play together.” Whatever reaction I get, I always think, but this is what’s best for me.
And this is what’s best for me. It wasn’t until January that I thought I was ready for another one. And I can’t count the number of times I thought Hazel would be an only child. My postpartum was a complete nightmare, and I didn’t handle being a new mom very well at all. What do they call them? The mommy blues? Well, I’m pretty sure I had more than just blues. The stress, the expectations, the house chores, the sleepless nights, the sleepless days -for Hazel, it all hit me really hard.
The whole being a mom thing is so hard. And you can’t really understand it until you become a mom -trust me, I thought I knew. The hormones, the feeling that your new baby’s cry is like nails on a chalkboard and you just can’t figure out how to get them to calm down. The ideals you had for yourself before your baby was born: I’ll have a schedule set by the time we leave the hospital, I’ll start sleep training as soon as we get home from the hospital, they will only eat once every three hours, and they will love to be rocked in their swing while I make dinner. I could go on and on.
It’s all somewhat Hollywood to think about. Because being a mom is not perfect.
It’s the late nights, the sleepless nights, the feedings every thirty minutes. The wondering “what have I done all day today” because sometimes it feels like you’ve just been running circles around yourself and your new baby.
It’s the not showering for a week, the not washing your hair for two weeks, and the thoughts in your head of: “I wonder how much higher my dishes can pile up in the sink.”
But, I’m bracing myself for our new adventure. I keep thinking: “wow, I’m really here again. I’m really going to have another baby and go through it all over again.” Somewhere I thought I would never be. And it’s a relief to have made it. To be here waiting for this new arrival. To be somewhat ready to take this head-on. Knowing full well that I might have the most horrible postpartum ever, but also having developed coping skills from what I’ve gone through. I think I can.
So, that’s why my kid’s age gap is better than yours. Because it’s better for me. Because I know I can be a better mom if I have my sanity. And I know I’ll have my sanity if this is how I do things.
Heather McAward says
October 13, 2017 at 3:14 pmI definitely thought Rory was going to be an only child but things change. My kids are going to be around 15 months apart and that scares the shit out of me… but we’re also 100% done having babies after this one and making sure that we don’t have anymore kids. I think 3 years is a great age gap. My sister and I are 6 years apart and it was horrible growing up. I was a Freshman in high school when she was still in Elementary School and it was not fun having an annoying little sister trying to go with my everywhere and copy me. It was just way too far apart for us. We’re better now that we are older though.
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Alyssa says
October 16, 2017 at 5:11 amYou go, Heather! Congratulations! You will rock this! When are you due?
That would be hard to have a bigger gap like that, two totally different -drastically- points in life. Glad you guys are friends now. Things usually work their way out when we grow up don’t they?
Thanks, lady! <3
Kristin DiCristofano says
October 14, 2017 at 8:49 amI love that! so many people have opinions about everything but they really don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. You do you, momma!
Alyssa says
October 16, 2017 at 5:07 amThank you so much, Kristin. I completely agree. Why do people think they always need to put their two cents in? Ehh, oh well! haha! Thanks again lady! <3